The Lord Desireth Fine and Bountiful Sunshine Upon thy Pecker

It hath been decided that from this moment on we will only speaketh of good weather. There shall be no fretting about thunderstorms, no attachment of fenders, no internal debates about if thou should rideth the beater bike, no rationalizations about how thou could just cometh for the cookout, no rummaging around for rain jackets, and so on.  We shall still ride if it rains, of course, but we are not to think about it.

We will thinketh only positive thoughts about global warming, ozone holes, SPF 60, skin cancer, heat exposure, and 3rd degree sunburn.

If thou has not registered, thou mayest do so here. 

Hereby signed and decreed.
Mother Superior.

It's time for the 2023 PKR!

🌭 This is your official notice that the Peckerhead Invitational Bike Ride and Weenie Roast returns for it's 20th edition this summer on June 17, 2023! I mean, whoever ever thought this day would come, right? 

📆 Mark your calendars and get on your bikes, 'cause its gonna be a big one. You can help us out by registering right now. Still costs nothing, but helps us plan.

🌭 There's obviously a lot more to come as we get closer to the date, but we're excited to host y'all for the greatest one day, unsanctioned, not-a-race, Mansfield-based, bike ride & backyard cookout ever invented. 

Sign up for emails here!

You can find us on the socials on Instagram at @pkr4ever and on Facebook as well. 

PKR Management

Route Planning, or How to Get People Home Happy

Probably the most difficult thing about planning the Peckerhead Invitational is route selection.  The management debates many, many factors -- none of which exist in a vacuum.  Difficulty, beauty, humor, irony, rest, history, tradition... all are critical things we consider.  A route must be planned with the rider and the end in mind.  For the past several years, our desired end has been to have riders return happy, challenged, personally victorious, hungry, and ready to hang out for a while.  We stopped trying to kill people years ago.  Now, if you do stupid things and end up shattering yourself, well, your folly contributes to other intrinsic Peckerhead characteristics like suffering, ridicule, and humility, which of course are also extremely valuable.  But those are on you, friend.

Now back to the matter at hand.

"How do I want the rider to feel at this moment?", the management asks itself when we choose a road. Should you be challenged right here?  Should you be resting and recovering?  Where is the next water stop?  What type of rider will be on this road?  It all depends upon who you are, what came before and what road is yet to come.  Context. 

Choosing roads that are scenic and quiet is very important part of the overall context of a Peckerhead.  We want people to see the beauty of our area and have a chance to talk to one another.  We're hoping to show people roads they normally would never see, or funny stuff that we've found while out riding.  Later in the ride, while riders might be suffering, we try to mitigate that pain with beauty and well-placed resting spots.  When we do a good jobs, stuff connects up just right. Maps for the PKR.

Here are some quick shots of roads from this year's Peckerhead, and years past.  We think they're kinda pretty. 

What Can I Bring?

Fortunately, we are always answering this question.  We're lucky to have such a generous group of riders.  Here are the answers:

1.) You do not have to bring anything but your bike and a smile (shorts would be good, too.)

2.) If you want to contribute to the Peckerhead this year or in advance of next year, here's what we recommend:

SOMETHING TO SHARE
-Salads / appetizers are very popular.  Cool or room temp is best. 
-Beer or other recovery drinks are always appreciated.

DONATE TO COVER COSTS
If you can't cook or you just like to throw your money around, there's always the donation jar. Donations are optional.  We use them to help cover costs and put the remainder away for next year's edition.

-If none of these work, you can always do this.  I generally take a 58 cm.

If you have questions, call or email me.

Management

Weekend group rides -- could be a thing?

 A little peer pressure is what we're all about. If you think that a weekend group ride to get ready for the PKR sounds like a fantastic friggin' idea, fill out this form and let us know what works. We'll let you know how it shakes out. Mgt.

Instagram, new web address, invitations... getting organized

By now you might know that HQ took a couple of years off in 2019 and 2020. The PKR is coming back, though, for 2021. June 19. My house. When Management went to get things dusted off and restarted, we realized that it was time for a few updates. 

MAILING LISTS

PKR has nearly 500 people on our "mailing list". That's in quotes because it's basically become a collection of cocktail napkins and post-it notes. Every year, I would send emails from a Yahoo account 50 at a time so Yahoo wouldn't think I was a spammer. Not efficient. 

So we moved it over to MailChimp. If had your addy, I still do. If you're not sure, just subscribe here on the home page. Easy as that. 

NEW WEB ADDRESS

You can find us now at www.pkr4evr.com. Seemed a lot easier that the clunky Blogger address.

SOCIAL MEDIA

The Facebook Page is still a thing.  Aaaand (this is how old we are) we added @pkr4evr as an Instagram account this year. 

Use the hashtag #pkr4evr for the sort of stupid,  juvenile cycling content we've come to expect, brothers and sisters.

PRINTED INVITATIONS

The goal in 2021 is a return to the tradition of our printed invitations. The problem with that is the whole mailing address thing. If you want a printed invite, confirm your address here.

WHAT'S NEXT?

There's more to come. On the docket are weekend group rides leading up to June 19, merch, and we're waiting to hear back from Van Halen. 

Out of the dark ages

 For as long as I can remember, I've been typing your names and addresses into a janky-ass spreadsheet. If I have your email (you want me to have your email), you're good. If you wanna keep up to speed and you think I don't have your email, subscribe. I'm not gonna spam you. 

Get your PKR Updates (ain't gonna spam ya)

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Press play. Third time's the charm for PKR #19

 

June 19, 2021. 

That's the date. We're set. It's on. The bitch is back.

After a two year hiatus -- cancer and COVID-19 can both can go fuck themselves, by the way -- we're gonna give the world's best not-a-race-its-a-bike-ride-and-a-cookout a run in 2021. 

The 2021 Peckerhead Invitational in Mansfield, Ohio will bring you all the classics plus some new twists. Look for:

• Great bike routes for everyone
• New and old friends you haven't seen in forever
• No entry fees and no hassles
• A neighborhood cookout vibe
• New merch for 2021 
• Training rides to help you get ready

Look for more info here and on the Facebook. 

PKR4LTR or... Screw you coronavirus

Well, it's official. Having the PKR is basically illegal as I write this. Not to mention that a good deal of you knuckleheads are squarely in the high-risk zone due to your age and other behaviors wee won't discuss in this forum. 

And given those circumstances, we're scrapping the 2020 Peckerhead Invitational. COVID-19 can suck it. 

Regards, 

Management

Pressing pause

There will not be a Peckerhead Invitational Bike Ride and Weenie Roast this year. Well, then. That was a weird sentence to type.

As many of you know, my beloved Dad and spectacular grillmaster, Jess Allred, passed away recently after a battle with cancer. Fuck you, cancer, by the way.

Dad and all of our clan were integral parts of making the PKR what it had become over nearly 20 years; which was basically a rolling family reunion. Every year on Father's Day the sight of all of you sweaty knuckleheads sprawled all over our backyard gave us so much joy and laughter.

But the truth is that we (and by "we" I mean "me') are just not ready this year. I'm not prepared physically, organizationally, or emotionally. I would just be mailing it in, and I don't want the first PKR after Dad's passing to feel like something where I am going through the motions. That's why HQ will press pause for a year, take a breath, re-evaluate and reset for 2020.

See you on the road,

Your Dear Leader
#PKR4EVR

Wrap it up. I'll take it. PKR 2018 in the books

Well kids, we did it. Eighteen years. Together we raised our boy to adulthood, and he's eligible for the draft and registered to vote. Thanks for joining in on our graduation party.

Kudos to our riders who came from Delaware, Georgia, Michigan and all over Ohio to ride bikes and hang out afterwards. Pataskala, Columbus, Cleveland, Wooster, Bucyrus, Hilliard, Dublin... you name it. People traveled and we're grateful for that.

Couple dozen new ones, too.

Special thanks to Mansfield's riding community for showing up and showing out. This is a great place to ride bikes and you guys are big reason why.

PKR 18.1
Last thing, if you're up for a challenge join your overweight and undertrained host for PKR 18.1 on September 22 as he gets re-acquainted with Mr. Holmes.

Getting to PeckerheadQuarters

It's pretty easy to find my house, but for the out-of-towners here are some links:

From the NORTH via I-71
From the SOUTH via I-71
From the EAST via Route 30
From the WEST via Route 30

Parking details are here, and if you use the overflow, here's how you get to HQ from there. Or just follow the trail of Natural Light cans.



Or if that doesn't work, I live here:

Why even do this anymore?

I don't believe in fate. I rarely think that things are "meant to be" and most of the time I think God basically watches us make idiots out of ourselves and shakes his head. But hey, that's me.

Every once in a while though, I get reminded that maybe somebody up there has my best interest in mind. 

Today, while I was making sure things were dialed in on the site before Saturday I noticed that the highest performing piece of content we've ever had was a short post from 2012. Curious, I clicked on the link.

It was just an announcement that we were a "go". That's it. Oh, and then my eyes welled up when I read the comment from Paul "Possum"Leiter. Paul died senselessly a year later when he was shot to death by a gunman who invaded his home and took him from the world. He was one of my best friends and I miss him every year around this time.

The 2012 PKR was Paul's last. We rode 2013 in his honor.

I don't ride as much as I used to. I am over-committed, over-scheduled, and have a shit-ton going on. I've have never been happier. The PKR takes a lot of energy to make happen. It's moments like that one, wives like Amy, kids like Maggie and Ellie, and friends, family, and neighbors like you that remind me how important it is to take time out to celebrate cycling. 

Thanks for being you. See you Saturday, Peckerheads. #PKR4EVR

Jay

 

2018 PKR Update - Five days away

Holy hot dog sandwich. In less than one week - Saturday June 16 - the Peckerhead Invitational sets off for its 18th edition. That's a lotta bike riders and hot dogs. So here's the scoop:

• 536 Chevy Chase Road in Mansfield Ohio. We open for business at 7:00 am, ride leaves at 9:00 am sharp.
• Route is marked. No maps. No sag. You're adults. You can handle this.
• Massive cookout afterwards. Hang around and help us freak out the neighbors.
• If you want to bring something, here's what works best.
• No entry fees. Donations accepted to help cover costs.

All of the info you need to rock the PKR is right here. 

See you Saturday. Look for more updates through the week. 

Management.

2018 PKR - One week to go

Look for frequent updates via this site and Facebook this week as we lead up to the 16th. Here's what we have for your weekend.

ROUTES PART 1 - MAPS & MARKS
Maps have been updated and the route will be completely marked by Sunday. Any changes to the route that we have to make on the fly due to road closures and such will be reflected on the online maps. Once the route is marked this weekend, we are not going to do a second drive of it. If something gets paved over, you'll need to survive by your wits, good looks, and natural charm. Route marks are the usual yellow arrows.


ROUTES PT 2 - THE JOHN HOLMES
The big daddy had gone a little soft the last few years. In 2018, PKR management got him squared away and he's standing straight and tall once again. 77 miles and 5,000 feet of vertical. A few things to note:

Number one. Gravel returns at mile 50. Route 3234 south of Mohican is a generally smooth gravel / dirt combo. It's hilly and two miles. It's also impossibly lush and beautiful. People riding the John Holmes need to leave their 21c tubulars at home. Be prepared.

Number two. Holmes also hits the covered bridge road and over Pleasant Hill dam for the first time. There's water at the dam and also the Mohican campground.

Number three. The JH splits from the Full Pecker at Wheatcraft and Hazlett. The split is marked on the road.

HOT DOGS
Grillmaster Grandpa Jess and his lovely assistant Roxie will be attend this year. He plans to be as grumpy as always.

WHAT CAN I BRING?
If you would like to bring a covered dish, we will gladly accept. Salads, pasta salads, and other post-ride fuel is always popular. If that isn't your thing and you want to show up with a side of beef, we'll figure it out.

I have a new garage fridge cause I am "full-on middle age guy", so we can handle more beer and cold stuff on the covered dish side of things.

The giant... he's awake

For the past several years, routes on the PKR have largely remained the same. After a dozen or more years of scouting, riding, and mapping we slipped into a groove and - frankly - listened to our riders. They told us we had things dialed in pretty damn well.

The Half and Full Pecker, especially, need to have a profile that challenges the rider but also provides a safety net. That safety net is the B and O bike path and it works perfectly. There's literally nothing to change or mess with. They are about as good as we can make them. But the John Holmes... That's where the romance can really take hold for the bold and the beautiful. It's always been a very challenging route. We ditch the bike path and pack the back end with gorgeous roads through difficult terrain. To be honest though, we had gotten a little soft in our old age. Not this year. 

Mr. Holmes is back to form at 77 miles and 5,032 feet of vertical. Most significantly, the Holmes packs 1,856 additional vertical feet in only 12.4 extra miles compared to the Full Pecker. In other words, our boy Johnny finishes strong. 

So it's your call, Baby. Are you up for glory?

Create Routes or Search for a route from millions at MapMyRide

The 2018 PKR is five weeks out

Yes kids, we are def gonna do this thing.

Preparations have begun for the 18th Annual Peckerhead Invitational Bike Ride and Weenie Roast.

As is our tradition, departure will be at nine a.m. from 536 Chevy Chase Road in Mansfield, OH. If a volcano erupts or war breaks out, we will push departure to ten. But we're going.

There will be beer. There will be hot dogs. There will be a marked route.

There will be hills. I will be out of shape. I will ride anyway.

We'll keep you posted here, via Facebook, and periodically thru e-mail. 

Yours,
MGT

PKR 2017 - Bright ideas from a dim bulb

Your feckless leader addresses 150 of his closest friends.
It all went downhill from here.

Well we did it. The 17th Annual Peckerhead Invitational is in the books. Father's Day weekend has come and gone once again and for the management at HQ anyway, it's time for a recap and then a well-deserved nap.

Attendance - 131 registered and documented, probably 150 on the road. It was the largest mass of humanity assembled since our current president's inauguration.

Temperature - It were H.A.W.T.

Hard to imagine my standards being
lower,  but hey, turns out they can be.

MVP(s) - A tie.  Rabbit basically expired 16 miles out from heat exhaustion, suffered all the way back to HQ and then just fell asleep in the yard (he skipped the Gatorade and went straight for beer).  Jeff J. got two flats, broke a valve stem because he doesn't know how to operate a pump, rode the flat back to HQ, had my daughter call me and tell him where my patch kit was, patched the tube, and went back out for 30 miles. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you earn a lifetime exemption and a standing invitation.

Thanks - First and foremost to the hostess with the mostess, Amy. The PKR doesn't happen without her. To my kids and my parents, who carry a lot of weight behind the scenes. To our neighbors who put up with this shit every year and never call the cops. And to all the riders who come from near and far to get together over a bike ride and form friendships and community that carry us all forward.

This group has seen welcomed new babies, mourned dear friends, nursed each other through accidents and injury, felt the joy of a great day on the bike, and suffered the indignity of a bad one. And over 17 years we've made Ohio a better place to ride bicycles.

And finally, forgive me. If there was ever a year when I was tempted to hit the pause button, this was the one. For lots of really great reasons (lame-ass excuses), I just didn't have it in me back in January (too fat and out of shape) to gear up again. But Amy kept after me (told me to man up and do my duty) and yours truly finally got his shit together (in a relative sense).

Boy am I glad I did.

See you next year on June 16, 2018. #PKR4EVR

Had a few friends over for lunch. No biggie.

Acceptable Excuses for Missing the Peckerhead Invitational

No excuses from K-Spick. No sir-ee Bob.

As you may have guessed, there are always a few folks who cannot make the ride. There always seems to be some problem or another that confounds their best efforts to attend. Sometimes, these good citizens allude to the issue in their RSVP e-mails. Though they rarely admit to it, we see these regret letters for precisely what they are: cries for help. 

And so, we put our heads together (both of them) and present the following solutions to the obstacles outlined below.

Case One
"In the last two weeks, my schedule has gotten all f'cked up......while you are getting on your bikes at 7:30 a.m., I will be getting on a plane........heading way way west....sometimes I wonder if it is all worth it."
Here's a clue. It probably isn't. Free your mind and your ass will follow. See you Saturday.

Case Two
"Probably will not attend this year. Running the Canton marathon the next day and even the short route may zap too much at my age. Have a great time!"
A challenging problem, this one. Allow us to offer a solution. Run the Half-Pecker. The money you save on gas and entry fees will buy you a new pair of shoes and the feat alone will earn you a lifetime exemption and automatic entry into the hall of fame. See you Saturday.

Case Three
"Thanks again for the invite but I'll be doing a race in New York that weekend.  It totally looks like you guys will have a great time.  Please keep me on the invite list for the future." 
Here's the thing about races. We love us some races, we really do. In fact there are several races that absolutely justify missing the Peckerhead to go do. They all occur in Europe, however, and unless your name is Schleck or Sagan or Zabriskie, you are not doing any of those races. Balance restored, priorities renewed. See you Saturday.

Case Four
"I'm not gonna make it this year. Unfortunately, I haven't been riding much at all this season." 
Really? Did you know that a guy on a 1956 Humbert finished the Half-Pecker in 2011? Kids do that route. Dudes on three wheeled contraptions with fishing creels strapped to the front finish that route. Saddle up on the carbon vunderbike and get here by nine. And who said anything about riding. There's a pretty good cookout around noon and the old man could use a lieutenant at the grill. Problem solved. See you Saturday.

Case Five
"I wish I could join you, but I'll be running through the night that Saturday, pacing a friend during the nighttime portion of the North Face Mohican Trail 100 Mile Run."
If you are gonna be running through the woods in the middle of the night, you might as well be shitfaced and get naked besides. Hell, I'm up for that. See you Saturday.

Case Six
"Sorry Jay, I tore my achilles a couple months ago and I am still in therapy and recovering.  It is going well but the older I get the more I want to get going and I haven't quite balanced it out yet." 
Allow me to assist. Present your physicians excuse at the sign in table. See you Saturday.

Case Seven

"I’m not going to make it this year; I’m going to try to act “like a Dad” . . . . . and take the clan on a family vacation. . . ."

We here in management endorse the family vacation. In fact, you deserve one! And since it's Father's Day weekend, you deserve to leave any day you damn well please. So here's what you do. Ride on Saturday, Leave on Sunday. Problem solved.

We are grateful to have been given to opportunity to help solve these difficult and vexing conundrums. See you Saturday. Mgt.

Seriously, which arrows do we follow?

IMPORTANT!  Someone had the gall to adopt the distinctive Peckerhead directional arrow as their own and has placed some of these on our route.  The imposter arrows are white.

The arrows we are following are YELLOW. 

Most intersections are marked. However, if you come to one that is not marked, go straight through,